Today, I want to explore what makes a good life. Let’s start by examining two models of a good life. The first model is one of momentary happiness—imagine sitting on a beach, sipping a mojito. This version defines a good life as one where each moment is filled with joy.
The second model is a life imbued with meaning. This isn’t about fleeting happiness; in fact, when you think about a meaningful life, it often involves moments that aren’t particularly happy. It operates on a different time scale. When I ask people to identify the top achievements they are proud of in their lives, they rarely mention lounging on a beach with a drink. Instead, they recall experiences that were challenging, painful, and complex.
So, we have two versions: one is about momentary pleasure—sitting on a beach, drinking mojitos—and the other is about enduring hardship and complexity, akin to climbing a mountain or building a startup. This second version isn’t about instant gratification but about pursuing something meaningful over the long term. A good life in this sense isn’t defined by any single moment but by the holistic experience as a whole. It’s about bringing a child into the world, writing a book, launching a startup, or running a marathon.
But there’s another dimension to consider: our lives aren’t just about what we experience; they’re also about what we remember and accumulate. A life with meaning incorporates this idea—it’s not just about the present moment but also about what we’ve gathered over time.
Then there’s the concept of a rich life. This involves doing things that might be negative in the moment but add richness to our lives afterward. Picture going on vacation: it rains for four days, you lose your luggage, but you still manage to climb Kilimanjaro. Was this experience pleasant? No. Did it have meaning? Absolutely. And it contributes to a rich life because it teaches us resilience and reveals new insights about ourselves and others.
So, we essentially have three types of lives: happy life, meaningful life, and rich life. The question isn’t which one to choose but rather how to balance them. This balance will likely change over time.
Let’s consider the right mixture of momentary happiness, meaning, and richness for now. You can decide what balance works best for you at this moment, but remember that this balance can shift as circumstances change.
For instance, during times when resilience feels low and the world seems more exhausting and difficult, you might lean towards more momentary joy and less richness or meaning. Conversely, during periods when you feel more resilient and capable of taking on challenges, you might opt for less immediate happiness in favor of more meaning and richness.
It’s an ongoing puzzle. After completing something that added richness to your life, it might be okay to take a break and enjoy some relaxation.
So think about these three types: momentary happiness, meaningful life, and rich life. Consider what mixture suits you best right now and adjust as needed over time for a better life—however you define it.
