Happy New Year!
It’s the end of the year and we have a sense that it’s a good time to make New Year resolutions. Now, why is this? Because usually our old self is staying with us. And there’s a sense, a psychological sense, that something like New Year or a midlife crisis allows us to create a separation between the past and the future. On any given day, we may think something like “I didn’t exercise until now so why start tomorrow?” But if there’s a break, it gives us the psychological power to delineate between before and after and adjust our standard. It sort of gives us a fresh start.
A fresh start is a very interesting psychological mechanism, and it does work. This is why confession allows people to leave past behind and start fresh. The day of atonement in the Jewish tradition allows people to do it, and so does New Year. But what’s the problem? The problem we expect too much from ourselves. We set goals and expectations that are unlikely to work because, after all, we’re still us. Psychologically, we can separate the past from the future, but we are still the same person as we were yesterday. If I haven’t been able to exercise much, I can’t just take advantage of the psychological basis of saying I’m studying on a fresh page and become a completely different person. I’m still me, just without some of the burden of the past.
So, when we think about New Year resolutions, I want to give you three pieces of advice. The first piece is don’t start too big. Start with something modest. The second piece of advice is that the resolution should be something that you can control and not something that you can’t control. What do I mean by that? Don’t say I’m going to lose X pounds or X kilos. Why? Because that depends on biology and all kinds of other variables. So maybe you make it something that you can control like waking up earlier to workout. The third piece of advice is to make the resolution around a shorter timeline because it might pay dividends over the long term and become a habit. If I commit to running three times a week for the rest of the year, that’s big. But if I commit to running three times a week for the next six weeks, it becomes more manageable and I am much more likely to stick to it. By the time I finish the six weeks of running, I have set myself up to make it a habit.
And one last thing. When we fail, we feel terrible and may lose all hope of sticking to the resolution. One mechanism is to build in something like a day of atonement or the Catholic confession. Make a contingency plan in case you do fail and promise yourself that you will follow through. So, if I miss one of my three running commitments, maybe I will add 10 minutes to my next run. With these slight adjustments, hopefully your new year’s resolutions will be a success.
Most importantly, to a more sane, loving, and successful 2026 for all of us. Including success with our New Year resolutions, whatever they may be. Happy New Year!
