Today’s topic is walking on coals.
A few years ago, somebody offered me the opportunity to walk on coals as part of a ceremony. As you know, most of my body was burned very badly in an accident many years ago. I thought about the offer compared to somebody who was not burned and decided there were two options. One option was that I would view them as little coals and the worst that would happen is I’d get second degree burns. I already have so many more burns that are much more expansive, so I knew I could handle that. That was an easy comparison.
And then there was another aspect that maybe this experience would trigger some memories, some smells, some emotions. I think that most people don’t get burned. But for the sake of this thought experiment, let’s say I got a little bit burned. On the cognitive side, what would the process of stepping into the fire look like? Would I still think that I could handle whatever outcome happened?
On the other hand, would the burn remind me of lots of terrible things that I wouldn’t be able to handle? Could I predict whether it would evoke any emotions?
So anyway, I went. And in the moment, it didn’t evoke any emotion. It was very easy. I walked and everything was fine. I wasn’t worried in the least about any consequences. But it was about the consequences. I knew I could handle them. That was the rational thought that dominated. And nothing evoked fear, anxiety, and memories.
I have had experiences in the opposite direction though. For example, when I visited somebody in the burn department to give them advice. Then the cognitive part of knowing I can go through with the visit and it would be okay, was very quiet. But the smell of the burn department and the skin and the flesh and the ointment that I remember, killed me.
When we come to situations that we have lots of experience in, there are two forces: There’s cognition saying, “I know I can handle this and worse.” And then there’s emotion. We can predict cognition and we can work on it. But emotion is kidnapped by whatever kidnaps emotions.
I can imagine being in the same coal walking scenario but, instead, something could have ignited a memory that would cause me to back out. Maybe if the person in front of me got a little burned and I got a hint of that smell, maybe that would have been just too much for me to take.
So, we have cognition and emotion. Cognition we can control. Emotions not so much. For me, in general, I think that there’s lots of things I can handle more easily because I know that I can handle them more easily. But from time to time, these pesky emotions show up, and then I’m helpless. Just swept away by those emotions. I’m not sure I want to give them up though. I think I could probably make more rational decisions if I would remain just cognitive and not emotional. But as I age, I like my emotional side as well. Sometimes I am swept up by emotions and sadness, and so on. And it’s okay.
So, to cognition and emotion. Let’s try to enjoy them both.
