Every so often, particularly on weekends, I wake up, open my laptop, and notice my messy hair. In those moments, I find myself contemplating out loud, hoping someone might listen. Today’s topic of contemplation is gratitude.
First, let me admit that I'm not naturally inclined to express gratitude. Every January 1st, I attempt to meditate, but my to-do list inevitably invades my thoughts, leaving me more stressed than before. Consequently, I abandon meditation for the rest of the year. Similarly, structured gratitude practices like journaling never seem to stick for me. Despite this, I do believe I'm appreciative in my own way. But let's delve deeper into what gratitude really entails.
I think there are three intriguing aspects of gratitude. The first is about noticing. Imagine our daily experiences as part of a vast universe. We naturally focus on the negative—what went wrong, what we can learn from, and what needs improvement. This negativity bias has its merits since it drives us to fix things and improve. However, we often overlook the positive aspects of our lives. Standard gratitude practices aim to counteract this bias by encouraging us to notice the good as well.
But the value of gratitude goes beyond just noticing positives. The second aspect concerns understanding how we got to where we are. In discussions about luck, there's big luck (like winning the lottery) and little luck (the small but significant events that shape our journeys). For instance, many people have contributed ideas and feedback that have shaped my books over the years. Gratitude helps us remember these contributions and acknowledge that we didn’t achieve everything on our own.
The exercise of gratitude can thus enhance our memory by ensuring we recognize the roles others have played in our successes. For example, acknowledging advice from Sandy Blakeslee or Jim Levine reminds me of the collective effort behind my achievements.
The third element of gratitude, which I find most compelling, is about shaping our future. By nature, I'm somewhat adventurous—I often undertake activities simply for the interesting stories they might yield. For instance, today, I'll engage in something seemingly nonsensical yet potentially story-worthy.
Gratitude can similarly inspire us to seek out new experiences that allow us to express and receive generosity and help. Just as I pursue adventures for their stories, people who practice gratitude might look for opportunities to create moments worth being grateful for.
In summary, there are three ways to approach gratitude: noticing the present moment's positives, remembering past contributions from others, and actively seeking future experiences that foster gratitude. Last week, while waiting for a friend who was late, I helped a couple move a bed frame and assisted a disabled person with a dead motorized scooter battery. These acts of kindness enriched my evening and led to heartfelt thanks later on.
So here's to more reflections on gratitude—remembering how much help we receive and living an adventurous life that enriches our understanding of human connection. Here's to a better 2025!